


Things Best Left Unsaid

by BratscheCube (pweasenosubtweet)



Category: ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Fights, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, there's nothing positive here lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27045328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pweasenosubtweet/pseuds/BratscheCube
Summary: Yuuto said nothing, but he didn’t avert his gaze from Wataru’s, either. Taking this as a tentative sign of encouragement, he kept talking, not knowing how much he would regret his words later.“It’s a promise, okay?”Written for YuuWata Week 2020.
Relationships: Goryo Yuto/Matoba Wataru, Goryo Yuuto/Matoba Wataru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Things Best Left Unsaid

“Goryo Yuuto is withdrawing from Argonavis.”

Every time Wataru let his mind wander, he would without fail come back to that one sentence. It was almost comical— for being a literature major who prided himself on his ability to parse large volumes of text quickly, he sure was fixated on those six words. Though why wouldn’t he be? It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that Yuuto’s sudden message and disappearance had sent a shockwave through the other four members of the band, but had hit Wataru particularly hard. 

He was jolted back into reality at the sound of Submariner’s door opening and slamming shut. Ren, acting against the wishes of the rest of the group, had gone and tried to reason with Yuuto on his own. Based on the dejected look on his face, it was safe to assume that he hadn’t succeeded.

“Sorry, everyone… it’s no good.” Ren sighed and sat down heavily at the table nearest the bar counter, where Wataru, Rio, and Banri were seated. “He won’t listen to anything I try to tell him.”

“Well,” said Rio, moving to sit across from him. “What’s our next move?”

The three rapidly moved into a discussion about how to convince the missing guitarist to return, but try as he might, Wataru couldn’t focus on what they were saying. It wasn’t that he was still reeling from the shock of receiving Yuuto’s message; more than anything he was worried sick. Since meeting him, Wataru had always sensed that Yuuto was hiding a certain darkness within his optimistic disposition. This, in addition to the brunette’s impulsive nature, made him liable to do something ill-judged in circumstances such as these.

Wataru felt the vice of anxiety somehow tighten even further around him. Casting aside any attempt at thinking rationally, in that moment he resolved to go and see Yuuto himself, as soon as he could find a way to slip out of this seemingly interminable meeting.

\---

Of course, he knew where Yuuto’s apartment was, having been there many times, though never under quite these circumstances. Arriving in front of the modest building, Wataru paused, debating whether to try Yuuto’s phone one last time or proceed with his somewhat rash plan to get the brunette’s attention. Deciding to err on the side of caution, he pulled out his phone and quickly dialed the familiar number. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Still no answer.

“He couldn’t possibly have gone to bed already…” Wataru muttered to himself. Roughly stuffing his phone back into his pocket, he proceeded to pick up a small stone laying by the side of the road, and, perhaps putting too much force into it, hurled it at the door of Yuuto’s balcony.

Nothing happened for a time. As the sound of the stone hitting the door faded, the stillness was so profound that Wataru wondered if he had even thrown anything at all, or if this whole affair was simply a terrible dream. Leaning down to ready another stone, he heard the sound of a sliding door from above. Looking up, he saw… Yuuto. 

For a few eternal seconds, the two said nothing. As they looked at each other silently, the dream-like stillness that had perfumed the area was slowly yet steadily transmuted into something entirely more uncomfortable. What was the expression on Yuuto’s face? He looked tired, that was indisputable, but there was something beyond that, beyond even melancholy. Meeting that gaze, all the arguments Wataru had carefully thought out were pulled into the darkness beyond the streetlight and vanished like a passing breeze.

“Wataru...” Yuuto’s voice was hoarse, a hollow shell of his normal energetic self.

“Definitely come to Submariner tomorrow. You’re gonna explain properly, right?”

Yuuto said nothing, but he didn’t avert his gaze from Wataru’s, either. Taking this as a tentative sign of encouragement, he kept talking, not knowing how much he would regret his words later.

“It’s a promise, okay?”

Yuuto finally looked away.

“...Yeah, got it.”

The silence between the pair returned, though more awkward than dream-like this time. Wataru turned, the core of his mission accomplished. Beginning to walk away, he was abruptly interrupted by the sound of Yuuto’s voice, slightly stronger than before, as if he had been mustering up the courage to say something.

“Hey, Wataru… can you stay for a bit? There’s… something I need to get off my chest.”

\---

The ticking of the small clock on the wall served as the only thing tethering the small apartment to the present moment, a steady mechanical intrusion that Wataru found his breathing syncing to as he waited for Yuuto to return from the kitchen. 

After a few moments, he heard the soft sound of Yuuto’s footsteps as he emerged, carrying two steaming mugs of tea. He set one down in front of Wataru, and moved to sit across from him. Staring down into the clear pale green liquid, he began to talk.

“I suppose I owe you and the rest of the group an apology, huh? Coming this far with you all only to drop out now… it must look really bad, huh.”

He chuckled softly under his breath. Wataru said nothing, merely sipping his tea and waiting for him to continue.

“To be honest, I really want to stay with you guys. You’re my best friends, and…”

“Then why don’t you stay? None of us want you to go.” Wataru finally spoke, keeping his voice level.

“Because if I stay, then Argonavis will never go any farther. I’m the weakest link, Wataru. My guitar playing just isn’t good enough.”

Wataru worried it was something like this. One night, shortly after the two of them had decided to start a band, Yuuto had too much to drink and told him a story that played out similarly to this, about a band he started in high school that collapsed after the vocalist decided they weren’t worth his time. But for him to still have that bottled up, all these years later…

“But that’s not true at all! You practice more than any of us, and-” 

“You think I don’t know that? I spend all my free time practicing, and I can still only barely keep up! How do you think I’ll feel when I start dragging the band down?”

Wataru said nothing, trying to come up with a rebuttal that Yuuto would accept. Taking his silence as an affirmation, the brunette continued.

“So… I’ve decided that my family was right.” He paused before continuing, as if struggling to find the right words.

“I’m moving back home to start law school. And… I’m leaving tomorrow night.” Wataru felt his heart skip a beat.

“The plans have been in the works for a while, but I couldn’t find the right time to tell you all. I’ll definitely stop by Submariner tomorrow though, like you asked, to offer everyone a proper apology, and farewell.”

Yuuto kept talking, the words falling from his mouth, but they only registered faintly in Wataru’s mind. Yuu… leaving? Going away, and so soon? The thought made him want to laugh out of pure desperation, or perhaps cry instead.

In the short time he had known Yuuto for, Wataru had been completely captivated by his boundless optimism, like a sailor who spies an island on the horizon but is unable to reach it due to strong currents. And when Wataru closed his eyes, all he saw was that bright smile, shining like a constellation in his dreams. Yuuto had become his own North Star. And to lose that now, before he could even tell him how he felt, would shoot a hole through Wataru’s heart he felt he could never fully recover from. It was too much. He had to do _something_.

As if in a blind panic, Wataru stood up, nearly flipping over the table.

“Yuu, are you insane? This is the solution that you jumped to? You couldn’t have bothered to talk to us about this first, before jumping to-”

“You think I _want_ to do this? This is the last thing I wanted!”

“Then don’t do it!” They were shouting at each other now, but they might as well have been screaming into the void. Neither of them were going to be able to convince the other.

“Don’t we mean anything to you, Yuu?” Wataru’s voice seemed tiny, beginning to shake with emotion. “Was all of this a lie?”

“Wataru…!” Yuuto’s eyes widened as he realized how his words were being understood.

“Well, fine! Keep running away from all your problems, like you’re doing now! Because you obviously never cared about how we- how _I_ feel,” 

Wataru had to pause for breath. “What am I saying?”, he thought to himself. But it was too late. In some dark, hidden corner of his mind, he had resolved to finish that sentence.

“...and I don’t give a shit about you!”

That was a lie.

\---

Three words. The words he wanted the most to say, the ones he desperately _needed_ to say, and yet he was unable to. As he flew down the steps leading away from Yuuto’s apartment, away from the safety and comfort he felt there, he turned them over in his mind: “I love you”. As he burst out onto the street, oblivious to the bewildered stares of the late-night passerby, he saw those three words fracture and slowly crumble to dust before his eyes. Nothing could save them now.

As Wataru ran, the tears he had tried to hold back while talking with Yuuto finally began to sting at the corners of his eyes, lending each of the plentiful streetlamps and passing car headlights a brightly glowing corona, obscuring his vision to the point that he decided it would be better to close his eyes and hope for the best. 

He felt the wind begin to dishevel his hair, the two pins perennially tucked by his forehead dangerously close to falling out. Despite his silent protestations, fragments of memory emerged from the sea of his unconscious and floated gently upwards, passing by him: his first meeting with Yuuto on that unseasonably warm day, their shared resolve to form a band together, Argonavis’ first concert, and perhaps most woundingly, that shattering moment when he realized just how in love he was.

So engrossed was Wataru in trying to deny these ceaseless visions, that he didn’t even realize he was automatically running back in the direction of Submariner, a place he had resolved would no longer hold memories, nor feelings... nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> oof


End file.
